Life in United States

Being a nice Person, Good or Bad?

Being a nice person sometimes kinda sucks!!!

From being a nice person I've found that people think they can get away with more from you, they think that just because you're a nice they can walk all over you. Take advantage of you! I suggest a nice balance between being nice and a jerk somewhere in the middle. Because then you won't have to deal with that. As strange as it is for others who read this you have to realize that the more of an ass you are the more people will respect you, and the more guys will like you. and as for you girls who read this if you're a bitch you better also be hot, otherwise nobody will want to even get near you. Harsh yes, but i speak the truth...(hehehehe!) you're violent reaction is welcome!!!

Never Knowing

Never Knowing

U will never know,

How ugly I feel inside.

To just sit here one day,

And lay down and cry.

When some people call me mean names,

 

It seems like I don't care.

But really,

The feelings of hurt are always there.

People say that I am not ugly,

And that I am wrong.

But it's hard to agree,

After so long.

U will never know the feelings,

That have been here for years.

These feelings,

That have caused most of my tears.

U will never know the feeling,

Of not being loved.

To sit there and cry,

To be yelled at and shoved.

I want you,

To just be there for me.

Because this will take a while,

For me to be free.

To be free from the feeling inside of me,

The feeling of being ugly.

Please, I know u will never know,

But understand I won't let it show.

Beneath my smiles, laughter and cheers,

There is a person inside that fears.

Of being lonely and not having anybody.

ALONE

ALONE   Alone:  apart,  you are with noone; full of only yourself and your own thoughts. Alone: forgetting god is always here. God is always here, we are never really alone but...   Lonely:  Reaching for anything, making things up,talking to the kitty cat, I am having nightmares, and forgetting: Forgetting all the people that love me.   Lost:  someone refers to me as  lonely and for the first time I realize, "I guess I Am lonely...I didn't feel lonely, I guess I am."   Talking to strangers. Grasping for hugs, but always wanting another hug, I want another one, and another... Remembering, yes remembering, god is always here. I will not be alone forever!   Being strong! Knowing that I am alone by choice, that I left "him" because he was not "the one", better to be Lonely and doing the right thing than with someone for the wrong reasons.   I will not be alone forever...There will be time for love again...   God enters the darkest rooms.

Why does stress causes difficulty breathing?

I get DOB, cold hands, and feel like I can't pull my chest in enough to get a full breath, so my lungs hurt (ache) as if I'm breathing 30% usual.

This happens after I cried, and sometimes when I'm driving and it feels like its hard to turn the car around (which I do) and feel really light headed!!! I never hyperventilate, quite the opposite - I breathe slowly as if I'm too exhausted to be able to lift my chest up. There's no blind panic, just really chest pain like someone's sitting on my chest. I feel I cant breathe.

Sometimes I start to grab a perfume or cologne or anything that smells good to make me feel better. (oh I feel better when i smell something good! like my bf's breath! lol! love it!) And when my bf saw me spraying a lot of perfume on my pulse he felt sad becuse he thought I'm wasting the expensive perfume he bought for me!